Typically we think that children need to learn absolutely everything from us! We believe that we have to be the one that set the examples for them to be prepared in life.

However, the truth is that we cant predict the paths that our children will take in life. We can do everything in the world to set the perfect example, enroll them in all the sport camps and have the greatest of intentions for them–but that doesn’t mean that things will “work out better” for them because of it.

You probably see this happening often in everyday life but never pay attention to it. Adults may start off believing one religion as a child and then convert to another religion as an adult. They were given the tools to believe in their childhood religion and continue to utilize it in everyday life but they still decided to change.

Its because we can only guide our children–not lead them.

Think about: We can tell our children to clean their rooms a kajillion times and they can still grow to become messy people who hate cleaning.

Trying to make anyone do something by threatening, yelling or punishing them doesnt work because it doesnt leave room for understanding and clarity. The only way to get someone to change their behavior is by creating clarity around the ideal outcome.

Like, instead of saying, “I told you so” when we respond, we can offer explanations that explain what we need and why we need it.

By creating this clarity around our needs, we help our children to understand why their actions matter when we ask them to do something.

The more we start to parent from this perspective of awareness, the more we will develop a stronger parent-child relationship and normalize a culture of mutual respect and understanding within our homes.